Hold them tight

One of the (many) things you are constantly worried about, when you become a mother for the first time, is how much you can hold your baby. You get affraid of holding them too much that they will become needy. 

What makes you want to hold them? Their cry, their discomfort, knowing how unprotected and dependent they are. But also that unimaginable and endless love you feel for this tiny little being that just came from you. 

My daughter is one year old. When she was about one month old, I had an appointment with two paediatricians (one was shadowing the other) because she had a tongue tie and it prevented her from breastfeeding properly, and for me it was really painful. (I’ll soon write a post about it) So we met in order to cut it to improve things. 

As routine, they asked me how things were going, if I or her had any challenges that I felt I needed support. I guess the fact that Constança had had a few tough evenings with colics, made me worry that I was holding her too much. And I shared it with them. They were so warm with me when saying, ‘it’s never too much. Just think how tiny they are, so dependent of you. They need all the love they can get, and that comes from the physical contact you give them. They spent 9 months protected of everything, and it’s your job to keep protecting them. You are bonding. ‘ It made so much sense to me. 

So from that day, that was (still is) my belief. That you should hold them, give them all the love you have for them. Let them feel that they are protected, cherished. Most importantly remember to respect them. If they are sleeping, let them sleep without bothering them. And I know sometimes it’s just so tempting because they are just too cute. But let them be, because you will have endless opportunities to hold them tight. 

         Mary *

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